Guardian Angel

I know that in life, things don’t always go the way you planned. I never asked for anything because I have experienced so much pain and heartache. I’ve learned a lot over the past couple years. I am who I am today because of my past, but I am going to be a better me because of my future. Growing up, I experienced three near death experiences. I also had to deal with family issues, image issues, and a health issue that could’ve been permanent, which I recovered from.

My outlook on life changed, and I became more optimistic on life because life should be cherished. I believed that if I was good to others, I’d be treated the same way. I firmly stood by this, but I knew that nothing lasts forever. With good, there will be bad, and vice versa. Although I was surrounded by those who cared about me, I ended up getting hurt in relationships. I don’t blame anyone. That’s just life.

I really thought I wouldn’t be able to be happy again, but then came a guardian angel. I know. It’s strange calling him that, but I believe it. He came into my life all of a sudden,  made me smile, and made my heart flutter. I felt safe with him. Whenever I needed help, even when I didn’t ask for it, he’d be there for me. He always thought of my best interest, and tried to make me happy. Slowly, but surely, I opened up. I fell in love. I was happy.

My guardian angel was there with me, by my side. I couldn’t be happier, but then, I noticed a change. Little by little, things started changing. I don’t know how to describe it, but I became worried. I even had a dream that he ended up leaving. I tried brushing it off, and told myself everything would be okay. Little did I know, it was a premonition for what was to come. That time came, and I didn’t know what to say or do when it did.

I cried. I got mad at myself. I took my frustration out on myself, and I wouldn’t eat because of it. At work, I’d mask everything. In front of friends, I acted as if I was fine after the first couple weeks, but deep down, it took a lot out of me. I couldn’t sleep properly. Then I realized that I had to stop doing this to myself. It wasn’t healthy. Thus, began the process of facing reality. I had to move forward. I was never mad at him. I could never be mad at him. I was just confused at the whole situation. I was disappointed that he couldn’t really tell me the truth because I felt like he was still holding something back.

Of course, I can’t force anyone to say anything if they don’t want to. So, I’m still unsure what happened. I just know that my guardian angel came, and left. While I do wish him the best, I still worry about him. He always did what he could for me. Maybe if I tried harder. Maybe if I was more caring. Maybe if I could’ve done this or that. Maybe. All I know is, I can only watch from afar and hope for the best. I want to be there for him, but if he won’t let me, I’ll just try to in secret.

To my guardian angel, thank you. ❤

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Perfect Dating (TV Show) – 非常完美

Whoa. I just realized I haven’t made a blog post in awhile. As I said before, I’m more active on other social media sites like Instagram, Twitter, & FB, so feel free to follow me on those sites if you’d like.

Today, I wanted to talk about a show that I came across randomly one night. It’s a Chinese show called “非常完美” (Perfect Dating). I saw a random clip of a beautiful girl traveling a long way to go on this show to confess her love to one of the guys on the show. Keep in mind, this show is for female guests to go on the show to have a chance to meet the guy of their dreams. If the guy likes her, she can leave with him. If he doesn’t, she can confess her love to him, and he has a choice of leaving with her or not.

Back to the story. So the girl did this elaborate romantic love confession for this guy. It was very touching, and in the end, the guy turned her down. Even the host & the love advisors on the side were shocked. The girl ended up leaving alone, and it was sad to watch.

I know what you’re thinking. This is a reality show, so most likely things aren’t always as it seems. It’s for the ratings, right? I completely agree because I watched some more episodes just to get a feel of what the show is about since I had only seen a snippet clip of the video.

I feel that it is true. The show is mainly focused on certain main guys on the show who are searching for their true love. However, I have noticed when getting a love confession, those certain main guys always turn the girl down because of a past relationship they were hurt in or because they just didn’t feel it, or the simple fact that they didn’t feel attracted to the girl (but the main reason was the 1st one).

My issue with this is that if you’re still getting over a past relationship and you don’t want to get hurt, why are you on the show? It’s completely unfair to the girls who go on there to pour their hearts out to the guy they like on national television, just to get rejected. It doesn’t seem right with me, or doesn’t sit well with me. It actually makes me feel sorry for the girls who get rejected.

It really does seem more like a popularity contest for the guys, but hey, I guess that’s show biz, right? Not really wanting to bash the show because I do find it somewhat interesting to see people’s thoughts & reactions to love/relationships, but I just feel like if you’re trying to find true love, it might not be your best interest to do it that way. Maybe that’s just me. I don’t know. I’m more of a private person.

While I do understand the concept of the show & see why it’s still airing to this date, I just feel that I should advise not only the women who go on the show, but the men too, that sometimes relationships that begin in the public eye might not always last very long because you are constantly being watched. You get no privacy. Your every move can spark movements.

I do wish all the guys & gals good luck though in their search to find their soul mate or true love.

Toodles!

~Sherr Bear ^_^

P.S. I will start blogging again soon. Have new cosplay material to post. Haha.