Guardian Angel

I know that in life, things don’t always go the way you planned. I never asked for anything because I have experienced so much pain and heartache. I’ve learned a lot over the past couple years. I am who I am today because of my past, but I am going to be a better me because of my future. Growing up, I experienced three near death experiences. I also had to deal with family issues, image issues, and a health issue that could’ve been permanent, which I recovered from.

My outlook on life changed, and I became more optimistic on life because life should be cherished. I believed that if I was good to others, I’d be treated the same way. I firmly stood by this, but I knew that nothing lasts forever. With good, there will be bad, and vice versa. Although I was surrounded by those who cared about me, I ended up getting hurt in relationships. I don’t blame anyone. That’s just life.

I really thought I wouldn’t be able to be happy again, but then came a guardian angel. I know. It’s strange calling him that, but I believe it. He came into my life all of a sudden,  made me smile, and made my heart flutter. I felt safe with him. Whenever I needed help, even when I didn’t ask for it, he’d be there for me. He always thought of my best interest, and tried to make me happy. Slowly, but surely, I opened up. I fell in love. I was happy.

My guardian angel was there with me, by my side. I couldn’t be happier, but then, I noticed a change. Little by little, things started changing. I don’t know how to describe it, but I became worried. I even had a dream that he ended up leaving. I tried brushing it off, and told myself everything would be okay. Little did I know, it was a premonition for what was to come. That time came, and I didn’t know what to say or do when it did.

I cried. I got mad at myself. I took my frustration out on myself, and I wouldn’t eat because of it. At work, I’d mask everything. In front of friends, I acted as if I was fine after the first couple weeks, but deep down, it took a lot out of me. I couldn’t sleep properly. Then I realized that I had to stop doing this to myself. It wasn’t healthy. Thus, began the process of facing reality. I had to move forward. I was never mad at him. I could never be mad at him. I was just confused at the whole situation. I was disappointed that he couldn’t really tell me the truth because I felt like he was still holding something back.

Of course, I can’t force anyone to say anything if they don’t want to. So, I’m still unsure what happened. I just know that my guardian angel came, and left. While I do wish him the best, I still worry about him. He always did what he could for me. Maybe if I tried harder. Maybe if I was more caring. Maybe if I could’ve done this or that. Maybe. All I know is, I can only watch from afar and hope for the best. I want to be there for him, but if he won’t let me, I’ll just try to in secret.

To my guardian angel, thank you. ❤

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Perfect Dating (TV Show) – 非常完美

Whoa. I just realized I haven’t made a blog post in awhile. As I said before, I’m more active on other social media sites like Instagram, Twitter, & FB, so feel free to follow me on those sites if you’d like.

Today, I wanted to talk about a show that I came across randomly one night. It’s a Chinese show called “非常完美” (Perfect Dating). I saw a random clip of a beautiful girl traveling a long way to go on this show to confess her love to one of the guys on the show. Keep in mind, this show is for female guests to go on the show to have a chance to meet the guy of their dreams. If the guy likes her, she can leave with him. If he doesn’t, she can confess her love to him, and he has a choice of leaving with her or not.

Back to the story. So the girl did this elaborate romantic love confession for this guy. It was very touching, and in the end, the guy turned her down. Even the host & the love advisors on the side were shocked. The girl ended up leaving alone, and it was sad to watch.

I know what you’re thinking. This is a reality show, so most likely things aren’t always as it seems. It’s for the ratings, right? I completely agree because I watched some more episodes just to get a feel of what the show is about since I had only seen a snippet clip of the video.

I feel that it is true. The show is mainly focused on certain main guys on the show who are searching for their true love. However, I have noticed when getting a love confession, those certain main guys always turn the girl down because of a past relationship they were hurt in or because they just didn’t feel it, or the simple fact that they didn’t feel attracted to the girl (but the main reason was the 1st one).

My issue with this is that if you’re still getting over a past relationship and you don’t want to get hurt, why are you on the show? It’s completely unfair to the girls who go on there to pour their hearts out to the guy they like on national television, just to get rejected. It doesn’t seem right with me, or doesn’t sit well with me. It actually makes me feel sorry for the girls who get rejected.

It really does seem more like a popularity contest for the guys, but hey, I guess that’s show biz, right? Not really wanting to bash the show because I do find it somewhat interesting to see people’s thoughts & reactions to love/relationships, but I just feel like if you’re trying to find true love, it might not be your best interest to do it that way. Maybe that’s just me. I don’t know. I’m more of a private person.

While I do understand the concept of the show & see why it’s still airing to this date, I just feel that I should advise not only the women who go on the show, but the men too, that sometimes relationships that begin in the public eye might not always last very long because you are constantly being watched. You get no privacy. Your every move can spark movements.

I do wish all the guys & gals good luck though in their search to find their soul mate or true love.

Toodles!

~Sherr Bear ^_^

P.S. I will start blogging again soon. Have new cosplay material to post. Haha.

Waiting

I sit in silence, waiting.
Waiting to hear something, anything.
In hopes of an answer that goes unanswered.

I hear the gentle running of the modem.
Rumbling as I hope to hear something else.
Nothing.

I look around the room in the dim lighting.
Memories flooded my mind like a downpour of rain.
A smile, a laugh, a touch.

I close my eyes in hopes to disengage the thoughts.
I’m back in the room again.
I sit in silence, waiting.

1st Time

This was the 1st time that we met.
You arrived late.
I waited patiently.
You looked relaxed.
I was nervous.

This was the 1st time we held hands.
You casually held my hand in yours.
I wasn’t sure how to react.
You didn’t let go for awhile.
I smiled.

This was the 1st time that we kissed.
You stared into my eyes as if staring into my soul.
I blushed not knowing what to do.
You leaned in.
I closed my eyes.

This was the 1st time that we said, “I love you.”
You said it softly at the end of a conversation.
I wasn’t sure what to say.
You looked at me with the gentleness.
I said, “I love you too.”

This was the 1st time we lost faith.
You wouldn’t admit to your fault.
I asked you to tell me the truth.
You finally admitted your wrongdoings.
I replied that I’d give you a second chance.

This was the 1st time we questioned our trust.
You told me that ya’ll were just friends.
I believed you, but not the other person.
You said that I needed to trust you.
I did, but it was hard to trust fully.

This was the 1st time we moved forward.
You got your promotion at work.
I was happy for you.
You began working more and more.
I supported you.

This was the 1st time we had a big argument.
You were upset with me at something I said.
I just wanted quality time together.
You stopped talking to me for awhile.
I cried, and then stopped trying to contact you.

This was the 1st time we didn’t know what to do.
You couldn’t give me a direct answer.
I didn’t know how to respond.
You kept quiet, and didn’t say anything else.
I suggested some time apart.

This was the 1st time we spent this much time apart.
You wouldn’t call or text like you normally would.
I kept myself busy so I wouldn’t think so much.
You blocked me from a lot of social media.
I just kept quiet and carried on.

An Open Letter To The Guy Who Let the Good Girl Go

I read an article the other morning titled, “An Open Letter To The Girl Who Let The Nice Guy Go,” and upon reading this article, I also wanted to write something with the role reversed, but through the eyes of a girl. I don’t usually write blog entries too much about thoughts & feelings, but I thought why not?

Here’s the original article I read (which was dated months back):

http://elitedaily.com/dating/an-open-letter-to-the-girl-who-let-the-nice-guy-go/589089/

Seeing how that open letter was addressed to the guy who “Girl Who Let The Nice Guy Go,” I think it’s only fair that I write one for the “Guy Who Let The Good Girl Go.” This is also a recurring theme that I see on a daily basis, not just from personal experience. Countless times have I seen guys cheat or take advantage of the good girl type of girlfriend, and it just bothers me that it happens quite often. I’ve had to listen to girls vent and cry. It’s just not right.

Why do guys do this? Boredom? Possibility, but will boredom find you the right person you’ll spend the rest of your life with? Does it really suffice your needs? Curiosity? I was once told that an ex that dumped me was similar to a penguin who had the best pebble he could find, but then decided he could find better so went on a search, but each time, he’d find pebbles that got smaller and smaller, and not as beautiful as the original. If you had something good, why throw it all away?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Guy Who Walked Away,

You know deep down that you made a mistake. How can you let this happen? She was the good girl that you always knew you could bring home to your parents, and that she was the one you would settle down for. She was smart, down to earth, caring, loving, passionate, trusting, honest, hardworking, and so much more.

You were dubbed “The Bad Boy,” or you became that during your relationship because you probably have or did do something to harm this girl. You took advantage of the fact that she was willing to spend time with you, or do things for you like bring you food at work/school, or work around her busy schedule of school and/or work just so she could spend time with you. She would help out around the house when needed, and make sure that everything you needed was taken care of. She noticed details and gifted you things that you once said that you wanted or needed.

Even though this girl has a busy schedule, she would be happy just to hear from you whether it be a text message, Facebook message, a missed call, or even a voicemail. She was low maintenance, and easy to please, but you always left her hanging. You never thought of calling her or texting her on a daily basis. You never thought of doing small gestures to make her day. You’ve probably stood her up multiple times, or canceled on her for some dumb reason.

Cheating. It doesn’t matter if it’s physically or emotionally. Cheating is cheating. Whether you act upon it via texting (or sexting), Facebook messaging, Skype, WhatsApp, Snap Chat, or even in person, all of the above is not something you should be doing. You’re just talking? When you’re spending more time talking to some girl who’s not your girlfriend and you’re even being inappropriate, that is emotionally cheating. When you’re calling some girl or texting some girl late at night asking what she’s doing and then Skyping with her rather than your girlfriend, and you’re physically attracted to that girl, that is also emotionally cheating. If you’re sending personal Snap Chats to some girl who isn’t your girlfriend, that is emotionally cheating. If you’re meeting this girl up somewhere alone to be intimate, or you guys decide to do the dirty, that is physically cheating.

Following through. When you tell your girlfriend that you will call her back or let her know something, do it. Don’t say you’re going to do it, and not follow through. This good girl was probably waiting around just to hear from you, but never did because you didn’t follow through. How would you like it if the roles were reversed and everything that you are doing or you did to her was put back on you? Probably not the best feeling, right?

Think long and hard before making the same mistake again. As for the ones making the mistake(s) right now, get your head in the right place because once you let her out of your sight, chances are that you won’t find another like her. I’m not saying that all guys need to go back to the one that got away, but if you do, more power to you. Just think about what you do before you do it. Your choice now can affect you later, and you might just regret if you make the wrong decision.

Sincerely,

Good Girl

“Am I too clingy?”

I was recently asked this question, and seeing as how this person really wanted to know the honest truth, this is what I told him/her.

Everyone has to remember that spending quality time with your significant other is important, and is considered healthy/normal in a relationship. However, this does not mean that you have to spend every waking minute or every free minute you get with the love of your life. 

When you spend too much time together, eventually, you will get sick of each other, or annoyed, because you don’t get to spend time for yourself or with your friends. Always keep in mind that you should give each other space. Don’t suffocate each other. Hope this bit of advice helps those out there.

*I normally blog more on my Tumblr accounts, 1 is my personal one (peachqt), in which I blog mainly about life & relationship stuff that people generally ask me, and 1 is a shared account I share (2fatasians), in which I blog about delicious food I encounter. Anyone is welcome to follow either blogs.*

Thanks,

Sherr Bear ^_^